Category one: Will I walk half a mile out of my way to buy and eat one of their bagels. Explanation of this category. My family owned a small appliance store on 98th and Broadway in Manhattan. The store was within a block of amazing food-a Korean deli, a Chinese restaurant with dumplings I loved, pizza by the slice. I had no need to walk far to eat well. My favorite bagel shop was 15 blocks away (technically 3/4 of  a mile,) and more often than not I would walk the blocks to eat a hot out the oven bagel. Upshot: does this bagel taste amazing enough to put in effort to get to it.
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Category two: Would I buy a dozen bagels for a proper bagel spread. Explanation of this category.  In its most natural habitat, a bagel is part of a spread. Tuna salad, cream cheese with chives, cucumber, lox, tomato, red onion, white fish. So the bagel needs to be easy to tear with your teeth while it has a stack of food on it, and allows you to keep talking so you don't lose your place in the conversation. The flavor of the bagel can't compete with the spread, and it can't be so dense that you fill up too quickly to have the third half of the bagel since you still hadn't had the tuna and cucumber bagel. Upshot:  How (New York) Jewish is this bagel?